So, before I got pregnant I lost 130 pounds. I spent my whole life overweight and miserable. I hated myself every day. After I lost the weight I started to feel good about myself and it was so nice. Well, here I am, 36 weeks pregnant and I've gained like 45 pounds. The rational side of my brain keeps trying to tell me that weight gain during pregnancy is normal and healthy and it's good for the baby. The other, much louder, side of my brain is disgusted with myself and is convinced I'll never be able to lose the weight again and I'm just going to be huge and gross forever. I cry about it almost every day. I try to avoid mirrors. I look at my old clothes and I just get so depressed. Then, I feel guilty for feeling that way which just makes me more depressed. I don't know what to do at this point and it's making me worry about post partum depression.