I feel disconnected from everything.

I love my babies so much but I’m just getting trapped inside my own head.

I feel anxious all the time and sometimes I get so low I consider self harm. I would never leave my babies, but I honestly believe everyone would be happier if I wasn’t around.

I’ve been considering seeing a doctor about this, but I’m discouraged because I had similar feelings after my first baby and the doctor told me to come back another day and that I was fine.

I know that I’m not fine. I’m falling apart.

I’m avoiding eating one minute then I’m suddenly binge eating and I’m afraid to go to the doctor Incase they suggest medication- which I really don’t want to take Incase it makes me gain weight. I don’t know how to help myself. I don’t want to feel anything anymore.