So my fiancé and l agreed to sharing our shared bills equally, like rent ( now a mortgage) and utilities. Now we agreed to this when moving in together, but in the over two years we have lived together he has only paid his half 3 times. Before we moved in together he had his own apartment and it was only $40 less than our mortgage now. When we just had the apartment and it was just us it was just more of an annoyance to me that he could never pay his half, but he promised he was going to get a better job. We both wanted to start a family and so I got pregnant and he promised he would have a new job by the time he was born. Now, I guess this should have made me wait, but I had baby fever BAD.

Now, I do have a decent paying job, I work in healthcare, and before having a child I would say I was financially pretty comfy. I was saving money and pretty stress free.

Spoiler alert: he did not get a new job. Despite many gentle nudges and then when it got closer and closer to my due date there were less gentile nudges and more all out crying. He promised he would get a new job before I went back to work. I saved hard to have my maternity leave and not have to worry about money. Yet again, he didn’t get a job. I let it go for a while because I didnt have the energy to deal with it and just focused on our new baby for a while, but money is a lot tighter than I’m comfortable with now with paying off my labor bills, baby’s additional health insurance, and daycare. All of which are only paid by me. I have my own bills too, like my college loan and car. My tax refund really helped me this year, which I don’t want to have to rely on that money.

I just feel stressed out about it all the time. I’ve talked to my fiancé about it so much and I’ve even told him it’s effecting our relationship and he still is barely even looking a jobs. He has applied to maybe one job every other month. When I was off I even applied for him, but he didn’t even follow up on the next step he had to do for that job. He pays a few things like his car and phone bills, but he recently turned 26 and can’t be on his parents health insurance anymore and hasn’t found anything that replace his parents insurance.

He will sometimes buy groceries, but I also get the majority of that too.

I love this guy, but I don’t want all the financial stress on me. I want us to have a savings and be able to afford updating our home and go travel. I guess I just wish he had more motivation to get a decent job instead of playing video games all night. He says he hates his job and wants to get a better one, but doesn’t. Plus he drives like 50 minutes back and forth to his crappy job. He calls me wifey and that he can’t wait to marry me, but wants a big fancy wedding which is never going to happen if he can’t contribute to the bills we already have.

Help me. What can I do?

*added* sorry, I kind of skimmed over the house part. While we picked out the house together, it’s actually completely in my name. Thanks for all the advice ladies.