TRIGGER WARNING

So about 2 years ago I got my first boyfriend, I was 14 and he was 16 and we were talking for months before he asked me out. We ended up staying together for 6 months but those 6 months were probably the worst 6 months of my life. The first 2/3 months were bliss. I even lost my virginity to him. Not one problem whatsoever in those first 2/3 months, until one day he told me he had feelings for another chick, he was confused as to why I was upset about it, but he didn't care. About a week later he cheated on me with that same girl, I had to find out by his friend. I let it slide though, because 1. We all make mistakes 2. It was my first relationship so hey I didn't know how I was meant to be treated and 3. He was the love of my life at the time and I couldn't stand the thought of ever losing him. About 2 weeks later he cheated on me again, with a different girl this time, I found out by him, it looked like he regretted it from the way he was talking & acting towards me. So I forgave him again.... not long after that he cheated on me again, with a different girl, long story short he cheated on me 3 different times with this girl. You know, not once did I ever break it off with him. He would always want to break it off with me and I would be the one sitting there begging for him back. About 4 months into the relationship he started name calling, abusing me, taking all my money and spending it on himself, ruining my belongings and threatening to kill himself whenever we had a fight. But yet i still stayed with him. Eventually I lost all my friends because they all knew how toxic he was and they tried to get me away from him but I pushed them all away. Plus he didn't want me being around them, he started controlling my life. Around the 6 month mark he cheated on me again and we had a fight over it and he grabbed my neck and tried strangling me, it was at my house and my mum was home, she ran in to see me gasping for breath whilst trying to scream for her to hear me, my mum kicked him out of the house when that happened, she never knew until that day that we ever had problems, I didn't tell her anything about how toxic he was those 6 months because I was afraid she wouldn't let me see him. So anyways we broke up. A few months later I was walking to the corner shop and I saw him with 2 other people. (He lived a few streets away from me unfortunately) He started chatting to me and telling me how he misses me, I didn't want to be around him so I said I was going home, I was scared of him. He insisted he would walk me home, I kept saying no because I had a feeling he wanted sex. Just by the way he was talking and touching me. (We used to have this spot down at the duck pond in this bush part where he would take me to have sex, I hated going there, I felt grubby. But i did give him consent those times.) anyways he ended up walking me home and it was night time so there wasn't much light around. We walked down the ally way which is near my house and he tried putting his hands down my pants, I pushed him away and said no but he wasn't taking no for an answer, then he practically carried me down to the duckpond. To the spot. He laid me down and said take your pants off I said no and he started getting angry from what I can remember and he took them off. He pinned my arms down and went to have sex with me, I kept saying no stop please I don't feel like it and he didn't say a word, he stuck it in and I just remember laying there with tears rushing down my face. I cut off all contact with him after that, a few months later I was at the park and I was with one of my guy friends, I was having fun until I spotted my ex from a long distance away, I told my friend and he told me to hide in the car. (He didn't know about him raping me, he just knew about the abusive relationship). And so I ran and hid in his car until I got the all clear that he was gone. Later that night I actually got a message from his friends account but it was from him saying " I love the way you run, new boy already? We will see about that " and I blocked his friends account straight away. I was in bed that night laying up and I remember just hearing a huge huge smash and I could just feel shreds of glass everywhere I started screaming and ran out to my kitchen crying my eyes out not knowing what was happening. Mum started screaming too and we called the police. Someone had smashed my bedroom window. With a hammer. But they didn't try smash my window they tried smashing my head with the hammer. My room was just near our gate so they must've leaned over to throw it through. I knew straight away who did it. The police arrived hours later and I put in a statement, few hours after that he came back with friends and tried coming in to my house and jumping my fence to get to me. My mum went outside to try protect me and they started saying to her they'll put me in a coma. They tried touching my mum and luckily the police arrived again after me calling them. I ended up going to court over it and got an Avo on them all, they didn't get one charge. Months later I got bashed at a shopping mall by his friend because I went to the police about him. And ever since then I've been finding it hard to leave the house, I want to tell someone about him raping me. I want justice. But what if it's too late, what if the court won't believe me since it's been about a year and a half