A little struggle

Laurel

Hi everyone, I’m Laurel, I’m 22 years old and have been with my partner for 6 years. This is completely new to me and I have never stepped out the box to talk about getting pregnant and my struggle.

At 15 I had the implant to prevent a teenage pregnancy. It was only a few months later I got with my partner. Of course I kept my implant due to being young and the relationship being so fresh. In 2013 at the age of 17 I had a constant period of 6 months before getting told my implant had snapped in half in my arm. The implant needed to be removed and I got offered a new one which I refused due to my experience. I replaced that form of contraception with the mini pill which I turned out to be allergic to so had to stop taking it. I knew it would take a while for my hormones to return back to “normal”. So for the last 5 years me and my partner have been having unprotected sex. Not initially to try for a baby but due to my allergies and being in a committed relationship we both agreed if I was to fall pregnant we would both be happy, but we never labelled it as “trying”.

I’m 22 now and my partner 26, we’ve been together for 6 years and I still haven’t managed to even “catch”. I’m at the age now where my friends have children. I feel like it’s my fault I can’t conceive and I have the worst fear of going to the doctors to be told “unfortunately you can’t have children”, I know there are plenty other options out there if that is the case however I subconsciously don’t want to know but at the same time both me and my partner would love children of our own. We’ve sat and spoke about wanting children and this being the next big step in our relationship but it just doesn’t happen!! We’ve both got nephews and we both totally dote over them, and every time I wish I could have a child to bring into our family and extend our family from 2 to 3+.

All of our friends say “you’ve been together so long when are you having kids” we both know there isn’t any pressure and we both know stressing won’t help at all, however I have all sorts running through my mind about never becoming a mum or never being able to give my partner the one thing we both want so much in life. Granted it could be either of us if not both of us that is struggling, but I really am scared about the concept of being tested or even discussing this with anyone, I’m scared of being judged for wanting a family at my age.

Is it normal to have not caught after 5 years of unprotected sex?

Is it normal to feel anxious about getting tested?

Is it normal to feel happy and sad to realise another set of friends have conceived?