Please read!

About a year ago or so, my bestfriend cut all communication off with me. She thought it was because i didn’t tell her about me doing bad things with my ex, and i told everyone else in our friend group. But in actuality, My ex raped me and forced me to do things that i never wanted to do. I told the other people that it had happened consensually as a cry for help, because i was a freshman at the time it had all happened (yes i know don’t go for seniors and all that but i didn’t). The only reason I didn’t tell my bestfriend was because she had blocked me on everything and cut off communication in the past over things so insignificant that I thought even if I told her I was raped, she would block me. I don’t want the guy who did it to me to get turned in only because I know he wouldn’t see it that I was raped because after me saying no plenty of times I just gave in but not because I wanted to. There would be no case, and chances are he would win if there was a case behind it. Back to the bestfriend though. She requested my instagram account with no explanation at all. I want to dm her and ask why but then again I don’t feel like rocking the boat. I don’t want to be friends with her again and I wanna make that clear. How would I ever do that? I also want to include the fact that she told my boyfriend that I’m a liar because I never told her about me doing things with my ex, after a WEEK of talking to him..I had to tell him I was raped. Sorry if this is all over the place and it doesn’t really make sense but truly it doesn’t make any sense to me either.