Every storm and rainbow

I had a mc May 15. I got my rainbow BFP june7. I have been having constant brown spotting with no cramps this past week. Today when I woke up I wiped and there was a lot of brown mixed with red and there was some tissue/clot looking stuff in the toilet.

Later on in the morning I went to wipe again and there was a lot of brown spotting on my pad and when I wiped the wipe was completely red blood along with bright red. More tissue/clots in the toilet. I have light-medium sharp pain on my left bottom back side. Now that pain seems to be spreading throughout my lower back instead of just one side. I called the nurse hotline and they said it’s up to me if I want to go to the er, depending on my discomfort.

I don’t want to go into debt from medical bills just to be told it’s another miscarriage. I can get through it at home and go into the dr on Monday. If the pain gets severe I will be going into the er of course.

I am devastated. I thought this was my rainbow. And from what I read, after you have a miscarriage you’re more fertile and you are more likely to carry the pregnancy to term.

Right now I feel numb. I keep praying. God is the one to give and take away and he has reasons for what happens. But I will keep praying and praise him through every storm and rainbow.