Confused

So this story is pretty crazy. I am a lesbian and was in a same sex relationship with my long time committed partner. I really really wanted to have a baby but its so expensive to make a baby in a lab. In my crazy thirst for a baby i cheated and ended my relationship before she could find out. In my process of sleeping with him to get my baby i started to build a friendship and eventually guilt started to hit me. We thought i was pregnant before but it turned out to be chemical which i never disclosed and now i am pregnant 5 weeks and we have an appointment for the gyn coming up and i have to explain the lapse in weeks. I was planning on getting pregnant, ending things and just having my baby. I feel like all my selfishness is catching up to me. And i have to tell the truth but i dont have the courage. Any suggestions? I know im an a-hole