All I want!!!

So it's my Birthday today so is it wrong that all I want is to see a BFP this week???? AF is suppose to come the 14th and I don't wanna see her a^*!! I took a Dollar Store test this morning and it was BFN!! I've been TTC since October after my miscarriage. I'm trying to be so happy today but deep down all I want is to be pregnant. And July 20th makes two years since my dad passed from Cancer so I want more then anything to surprise my mom since she's been so down lately. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest since I can't share that with my SO or my family.