I don’t know...

I don’t know if I am in an abusive relationship. He says I’m the only one who has made him do things like this. When he’s mad he doesn’t think twice to physically and verbally hurt me. But I’m convinced by his words that it’s my fault. I don’t try hard enough or put enough effort into whatever the situation is. Whenever we’re not arguing, the relationship is great, and when I put my effort in when I can tell he’s starting to get mad, it usually turns out fine. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m insane. Am I not trying hard enough? Is this how it’s supposed to be?