Ok I’ll try to make this short. My friend (we will call him D) is an alcoholic. He got a dui about two years ago and started going to meetings to look good in court and he moved into a sober living house. He got kicked out a couple months later because he got drunk and ended up in a homeless kind of shelter for addicts. He stayed 6 months and was sober the whole time. Then he went back to the sober living house and maintained sobriety. Then the house manager asked if he wanted to be manager of another sober house for free rent. So he agreed. Now he’s been managing this other sober house and living there for a year or maybe a bit less. I know at one point he was drinking some. I think he was just testing his limits. Like seeing if he could just drink socially. But he eventually decided to go back to sobriety. And he never got caught.

So I had my baby shower Saturday. He came and apparently he was drinking some at the shower. Then a bunch of us went to breweries in the area so he tagged along. Last time I had talked to him he was all about sobriety and I thought he would just drink water all day since that’s what I was obviously doing. He got totally fucked up. I mean I thought he was going to get kicked out of the brewery. He was passing out at a bar stool. And I just don’t know how to handle it. He’s an old friend but not necessarily a very close friend. Last time I tried to talk with him when he was drunk (the time he ultimately ended up getting kicked out of the sober house that night) he told me I wasn’t his sponsor or babysitter. And he’s right. I mean it’s his problem. But do I just not hang out with him anymore? Should I talk to him now that’s he’s sobered up? I don’t want him to feel judged and I just want to help him. Anyone have experience with this? I’m considering going to an al-anon meeting to discuss this.