I started my period today and I sat in the shower and I wept and wept because it's just a reminder to me of how hard I try and how healthy I am and how well I take care of my body and how everyone in my family has kids except for me. Even my SO has children. It makes me so depressed there is days that I can't even get out of bed because I'm so sad. 

It's just a constant reminder to me of all the women who accidentally get pregnant, the ones that contemplate having an abortion or not. And, the ones that have children and pawn them off on to someone else and don't appreciate what an amazing miracle they truly are. What they've been blessed with. They just use them for show, for attention, like they're a puppy or something when they do rarely have their own children.

I know so many people like this, personally and it breaks my heart.  I have a hard time even speaking to them. it's so pathetic to just give someone else your kid because you want to go get wasted or you are still too young and you have to have a life still and blah, blah, blah. You got pregnant you had an amazing miracle. there's people that pray every day, and do everything they can, and spend thousands and thousands of dollars on fertility treatments and STILL can't have children. 

I'm not saying anything negative about all of these women, except for the ones that don't treasure their children. 

I'm just so jealous. Will it ever be my turn?