It’s been confirmed guys. I have PCOS. I’m so depressed at myself that my body is so fucked up medically. Ugh. Why me? Just why me? I guess I did something to deserve not nice things. I want nice things. I want a child of my own so bad. I got 8 kids don’t get me wrong ( I work with children. I love them all but their parents and me have totally different parenting styles) I want to experience pregnancy and all of that. Everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant. I just want my turn.

I’m getting really down. Really depressed and I’m lashing out at my husband. My poor husband has no idea how completely worthless I feel. How useless my body feel to me.

I know there’s options. But they are all expensive options I don’t have the money for. I feel as though I am disappointing my parents by not giving them a grandbaby. Disappointing my in laws even more than I already do by just being me and taking their son “away” from them. Disappointing the rest of my family. Disappointing my friends.

I’ve tried everything I can think of. I just don’t know what to do besides cry and say a prayer. ( I’m not even religious. But maybe that’s what I need or then again maybe not)

I just don’t know what to do anymore