I don’t usually post things like this but I’m in need of advise of help. I am a Christian and I fail everyday at being what I’m supposed to be for God, my self, and my family. At church last night our preacher preached on cleansing your self from the inside out and leaving your past behind. I had to figure out what that meant to me. What I need to cleanse from my inside. I don’t smoke, drink or dope I left that life behind some time ago. I am 21 and became a mom at 20 before I was married. I realize that I hold a weight on my shoulders. The pressure of being a mother so young and now I’m a wife to and have a second child on the way. I am very blessed that God allowed me to have the life I have and my husband and children. However when the preacher asked what do we need to cleanse out of our soul. My anger and bi polar disorder immediately came to my mind. I have a horrible temper and anger problems. I grew up in a very angry household. My parents were always stressed and In return that made things very tense and angry in my Home. My mom and step dad did the best they could but they were always ill. I also suffered from an abusive relationship with an ex for 3 years and got into drugs bad as a teenager. I feel that I have a chip on my shoulder from all I went through and in return it makes me angry and anxious. I often lash out at my husband and get irritated with our son. I’m not abusive I’m just angry all the time. I’m quick to come to a temper and I don’t want to be anymore. I feel that I fail my family when I get angry or hurt my husbands feelings or even get irritated with my little boy. They deserve better than what I have been to them. As a Christian I struggle to meet my expectations as A Godly wife and mother. I want to be cleansed of my past and how I grew up. I want the bipolar disorder to stop defining me and I want my anger to disappear. I want to be worthy of the Lord and my husband and children. I often make my husband feel disrespected. I can’t stand my self. I want to be better. I have failed my husband and my self and my Children and most of all I failed God. I need advise maybe someone to just help me. I see a therapist but it’s often hard to speak to them because they are not Christian. I need guidance from a Christian woman or man on how I should go about cleansing my soul and being better for my family and God. I’m praying I can be happier and not so bitter.