on june 10th 2017 I lost my daughter at 21 weeks due to a subchorionic hematoma and infection in my uterus...6 months later(december) I found out I was pregnant again...At 9 weeks 1 day I began bleeding and my heart stopped...that was the day I lost my second child...this pregnancy began as twins, and one of them passed that day...the loss of my baby created a hemorrhage in my uterus...7 weeks later I found out that the remaining twin was my very first boy. finally a son. a little prince...2 weeks later at 18.6 weeks I went into labor..again because of bleeding, and infection in my uterus...My heart is broken...it's been 3 months since I gave birth to my son who lived for 98 beautiful minutes on his mommys chest surrounded by love, and i miss him so very much...I miss them all so very much...Nothing can take away that pain...nothing...but in my heart I feel that I am ready to try again...i know my husband is not, and wont be any time soon...how do I deal with the intense need to create another life...I feel like I am slowly dying every day...i just want to create a new life. I want to give my husband a child. i want to give my children another sibling...not trying again is killing me and I dont know what to do about it...