Has your marriage changed since having kids?

Question

I married my husband a year after meeting him, I was 20, he was 29, probably should’ve taken things slower but, I really felt he was my person, fast forward three years into marriage we decided things were going well, we loved one another and wanted to have a baby, our first some came, and then months after he was born we discovered we were pregnant again with our daughter, she’ll be 1 on July 5, I have tried and tried to figure out what’s so different, I’m 26 now, we have two kids, a house, and I often find myself thinking I’m no longer in love with my husband... we don’t have sex, not from my lack of desire but more his, which has in turn made our intimacy totally go down the drain so much so that I don’t even really like kissing him or touching him... is this normal after having kids? Did I marry too young too fast? Will it ever get better?! Looking for some wisdom from women who have been there before 💕

Answer

Yes, much of that has to do with you getting married young, and to someone older. You will change more in your 20s than any other decade. That’s why the divorce rate for people who get married under 26 is so much higher. That doesn’t mean it can’t work, it just means you’ll have to work harder and put more effort into it than someone who waited. You could try couples counseling to get back on the same page, or even sex therapy. Good luck!

Answer

YES! Children change everything when you have children the men get jealous because they at one time had all your attention and love and once you have a baby you focus that love to the baby because he/she needs it. You need to have a date night. One or two nights a week , even for an hour find a babysitter you have to rekindle that love or you guys won't last. You don't want a roommate you want a lover am I correct? my husband and I have soon-to-be seven kids are 18, 16, 14, 4, 3 & 4 months and I'm 8 weeks pregnant..i know! and we've had our dry spills we've gone through everything under the moon and there was times where we just felt like roommates and I felt like a picture on the wall to be seen not touched but we told each other we would do a date night even if we are tired and exhausted just get out the house and away from the kids just to hang out. Just try a date night what's it going to hurt. not with friends or family just you and him go to a bar and hang out flirt with each other like you used to

Answer

My husband and I started dating when we were 17 and got married at 23. We are now 26 and have 2 daughters, a 17 month old and a 2 week old. I still love him very much and can't imagine being with anyone else. Seeing him be a dad has made me love him even more. We do still have sex regularly but the hand holding and kissing otherwise has decreased since having kids. Our 17 month old gets jealous when her daddy holds my hand instead of hers lol.

Answer

married my husband at 28, fell prego at 30... Pur marriage is pretty solid 4 years later and 2nd on the way... how much you both put into making your relation work will result in itself... Every day is an opportunity to progress and think of the other first before yourself, selfless love and sacrifice is the best reward to give and receive

Answer

I can’t speak to having children since I don’t have one yet. However I got married at 25, met my husband when I was 23. I am now 29 and my husband is 33. I found that within the last two years, it has been the hardest for me emotionally, just personally. I’ve been going through some self doubt about who I am and have anxiety and depression. My 20s are coming to an end and that is hard for me because i don’t know what makes me happy or i feel like i missed a lot of the fun i could have had in my early 20s. And then the last year of my marriage has also been the toughest for sure. Every marriage goes through a rough patch, even multiple at different stages of life. So fear not because this is normal.
Marriage is hard. For real. And each year that passes by you realize the effort it can really take. Some days are easy and others take a lot of work.
I know generally that kids can change a marriage. But it’s up to you to do the work and to get your husband on board with it as well.
My husband and i do therapy here and there. Maybe discuss that option with your husband. Because i promise, unless he is completely clueless, most of the time both spouses feel it when there is distance between the two of you. It can just be hard to talk about and admit.

Answer

I married at 21 after being with my husband 2.5 months. Long distance (I spent 5 whole days in person with him prior to tying the knot). We’re now 26 with a 13 month old and neither one of us feel this way whatsoever. It has nothing to do with your age or how soon you got married. The two of you need to be putting your marriage first  and taking the time out of your day to focus on it and help it grow. Your marriage is the foundation of your family. You need to treat it well and keep it strong.

Has your marriage changed since having kids?

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