Feeling like a failure.

Let me start by saying I was on the Depo shot for a little over a year from fall of 2015 to spring of 2017. I haven’t been on birth control since then. We were getting married in September and I wanted to give my body a break from birth control and hormones and get my cycles back on track. Prior to birth control I was regular and I was even regular when I was on the pill starting when I was 17 (now 22) and never had a period while on Depo. Well, it’s now July of 2018 and I STILL have not had a normal cycle without Provera or Clomid. Yesterday I got a call from my OBGYN saying my blood test came back negative for pregnancy (I took clomid and never got my period) and said I’m being referred to a fertility specialist. For anyone wanting a family this is probably one of the worst things you could hear. I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I have always though that was my purpose in life, not because I’m a woman and society says that’s what we’re “supposed to do” but because I don’t know what else I would rather do with my life. I want to have kids and teach them everything they need to know and grow a happy family with my husband. I spent my lunch break crying yesterday and trying not to cry throughout the rest of my work day. I honestly don’t think anyone in my life knows how bad this is hurting me and I’m not sure what to do. I’m just hoping my body is trying to get over the shot still. I’m terrified to go to the specialist. Does anyone have any advice??