36 and TTC

Jamie • Being in Love. Glenn.Family. Friends. Chosen family

My boyfriend and I have known each other our entire adult lives. We were great friends in fact, always with others, never single at the same time. Until last year when we finally starting seeing each other. *le swoon* . I feel like I’ve wasted my entire life on half truths and conditional relationships,as I feel that I haven’t loved fully and completely until him.

I am just 36 and he’s 38 on the 9th. I have a rebellious, smart ass- albeit brilliant 16 year old he has no children. After my sons father and I split horribly and world shatteringly - I knew I’d never ever have children again because being a single parent is meant for super humans. I’m a team player by nature and I need a partner at the very LEAST.

Two failed relationships and a 6 year failed marriage later I stayed true to this goal, without birth control. Just withdraw and rhythm method. No kids. No talk of kids and only one unknown pregnancy that resulted in forced dnc as it was unviable embryo. I was a binge drinker, who was morbidly obese and had a penchant for cocaine and crystal meth. Ha. No wonder I never got pregnant right?

Flash to current events. I am healthy, active and in love ( maybe for the first time feels like it!!!) my best friend. We are trying!!!! I have never been this fit ever as an adult. It feels like many firsts foe me except I am a little concerned about my age. I grew up in a time when women after a certain age should not have children. I feel so healthy and happy that I can’t imagine this being a bad thing. It just feels right.

My man is a little more indulgent in extremes. For example is healing from about three different skateboarding injuries. He smokes and drinks like a rock star but would you know he appears and seems to be the most healthy person I fuckin know!!

I haven’t spoken about this to anyone but I’m in the green zone and hope it won’t take too long to conceive. We both want this so badly but are not gunna go to extremes as we do that enough in our day to day life. Lol

Any tips or secrets or words of encouragement would be awesome. Thanks everyone. Hey