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He should be able to request his child support payments be adjusted according to his and bm income.thats what my 3x did to me. And he should be able to fight for more rights and some states won't give full custody.
Step mommas. Need some support
After 5 years baby mama is now finally wanting a regular custody schedule. She promised to make it fair if my bf agreed to give up his overnights during the week. We have had 2 overnights durning the week and every other weekend due to BM request because she wanted to go out and party and f*ck around on her husband. That was the schedule since December until 3 weeks ago. So for the past 3 weeks we see daughter on tues and Thursdays but have to have her back by bed time. Well we just got the papers and she is going for full custody. Him only seeing daughter on tue and thurs from 5-8 and every other weekend and he has to pay half of all daughters expenses and have no say in it. Even tho he has never been asked to be involved in any of it. He has never gotten an insurance card so he can take her to dr appt. He has never been asked if it was ok for daughter to be in an activity scheduled during his time but has always been present and has always taken her. We struggle as he is still paying child support on what was asked of him when BM didnt have a job and she has a job that pays more than his for the past 9 months and she claims she still doesnt have enough. He has always paid his child support and has given money for medical expenses when he can. We suffer greatly money wise as i am the main provider off of a part time job( currently looking for full time)yes my bf has a job but his money goes towards bills and i provide food some gas money and outings with daughter and outings for just me and him for our date nights every oncein awhile. She is the type of girl to use the child against us and always has. She made the schedule when daughter was born and has changed it to her liking so she could go out. Its upsetting to see such a dramatic change in daughter behavior since her mom took away our overnights durning the week. She used to be a well behaved child few tantrums now everytime she comes over she is screaming her head off asking when her mom is coming for her. Of course her mom never comes we always have to drop her off and see the sad in her eyes when she realizes her mom isnt home when we drop her off. I cant believe this woman would consider taking her away from a stable environment that we have given her to have her when BM is never there to take care of her or acknowledge her. Bf is planning on fighting this and going for 50/50 as they live in the same city maybe 5 min away from each other. I know im technically not a step mom but we are engaged and daughter has been in my life since she was 6 months old so she is my daughter as far as im concerned. I just have had a hard time dealing with less time with her i feel sad that we cant put her to bed like we used to and i feel like im missing her all the time. How do i cope with this without taking my feelings out on my bf?
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It's hard to cope I haven't been in ur situation as such bt it's easy to get attached to children I think ur partner shud challenge it all the way his ex sounds like a night mare but if u and ur partner talk then hopefully ull both feel more relived if not I wud say to have a rant at some one get advice from a outside party and address it to ur partner but this needs sorting so as it will soon effect ur relationship alot more than it already is :/ I hope u sort it out very soon x
El
well im glad you two are able to talk about things and hopefully everything works out in his favor
Ch
we do talk but im sure we r both just so frustrated that it gets in the way of things sometimes. BM is a total nightmare she has daughter believing everything she says is true. i just want wut my bf deserves and thats time with his daughter and to be able to provide for her and guve her the best life she could have
If she can't support the baby she can't have full custody. No court would give it to her. If you live 50/50 your child support should be minimum.
Ch
our little girl was such a good one until all sudden this whole custody thing came up. now she hates us and doesnt want to be around us ita a complete 180. and daughter only is nice to us if we spend money to go out and do stuff with her like movies or the zoo. we take her to the park but she isnt satisfied with that anymore more. idk what to do as we dont have money to go out all the time. and me and my bf dont believe in spoiling her the way her mom does.
Ch
our litl
Ch
she has a husband and a kid with him and they live with his mom. he has financially provided for 4 years and she just got a job last year. while she wasnt working her grandma gave her money and watched the kids while we have struggled to get by for the past 5 years cuz we dont have people to provide for us or just give us money. she uses everyone in her family to get money. i cant believe how many time this girl has been pregnant nd only claims 2 of her kids. she is a horribke mother she lets her kids dictate when they go to a dr appt and who they see all because they throw a tantrum nd she cant deal with it
This is why I always say nothing should be done under people's word everything should be done legally plus she probably won't get what she asked for people ask for a lot when they go to court it doesn't mean they get it she might have full custody physically but almost every custody agreement say joint custodial custody like both parents involved decisions if she made a whole bunch of request he can to file a reply and request it doesn't mean he'll get it but why not ask and if he pays child support he doesn't have to pay anything else like medical expenses if she gets braces he will have to pay half ect but we provide the ins for my stepdaughter so she has to pay all co payments don't worry courts are usually fair about this stuff especially if he has history of being involved
Je
But at least now it's getting done don't stress getting things legalized is best for both parties
Je
Well I know for a fact the courts won't make him pay pay for everything and at worst he will get standard visitation at worst and that's every other weekend fathers day summer every other holiday you guys are doing the best thing buy going to court your b.f should of done this from the beginning
Ch
hes always been involved with his daughter always paying child support. she just wants wants money which was obviously stated in her papers as she stated everything he should pay for but never gave a plan as to holidays it just says the have to agree which she never does. she kept daughter away on fathers day week when we were supposed to have her and now she says we have to make it up. bf argued the whole weekend he should have her and she never brought her over until father's day. he doesnt think its right for her to have all the rights and him just pay for everything without a say in it so he will be fighting for joint legal custody and making sure there is a plan for holidays. his mom os pissed off of at baby mama cuz for years she stated she would never take her away or limit time and she has done is use all of us as a baby sitter nd now wants to take it all away. so we r definitely fighting this one
This sounds horrible...but he did have a child with this women so he has to be financially supportive and involved in her life. I hope it works out but before your relationship goes any further and as the child gets older, the stress and drama is only going to increase so I hope u evaluate this relationship and see if it is worth it. If it is great or if it's not good it's better to no now. Good luck!
Wow this sounds aweful,she sounds alot like my husbands ex gf,i mean we do have the kids alot and they mainly live with us but the schedule with her always changes bc ,for a while she will want them only a couple day then will change to she wants them like 4/5 days and they are only 3 and 2 years old so the change all the time is so unstable for them,we too when we go get them or if she actually has a ride to bring them to us they scream and cry,they want to be with her bc she has no rules,they have come home sick all the time and/or injured and filthy bc she doesnt watch them and smokes and does drugs arpund them,never can keep a job,got her car repoed,electric gets shut off all the time but cps wont help us at all and a lawyer costs so much. If she is to pick them up we always end up getting stuck home waiting for hours for her to show. She is a aweful neglectful woman and a few times have tried to keep them from us bc she jealous of me and it is stupid bc if she was a real mother she would think of whats best for them,theu have their own rooms and beds at our house,we have lots of nice clothing for them and can afford food and everything for them but shed rather be selfish and keep them,we also have my daughter and she is 2 1/2 so all the change is not good fpr her either and like the other 2 will be bad when they get home so she thibks she can be too and they be mean to her,its not right. Sadly this woman is pregnant again and we hope she gets so consumed with this baby she will forget about the my son and daughter and wont want them around and will finlly just let us have them all the time. All i can say is try to cope with it yourself or talk to a friend bc like if i talk at all about how much i hate her to my husband or anything he gets mad at me and is a ass bc he says im bitching at him like its his fault. She also will call or message my husband just to talk and that pisses me off too bc he wont stop her,hopefully your s.o not like that
Ch
yes our BM has been absent from daughters life for about 9 months and all the sudden a wants to be a mom again. she has always used her grandma as her source of income until she finally got this job not once has she tried to be there for daughter until she needed surgery to have tubes put in her ears because she has mulitple ear infections nd a constant ear infection since January and she finall just got the surgery done about a month ago. we have sent daughter over in clothes that i have bought bf has bought nd bfs mother has bought nd never was returned. as soon as we asked she automatically said we accused her of stealing. she sends daughter over in dirty smelly clothes and shoes that r obviously too small. fathers day she came over in sandals that her feet hung out across to the floor like a whole size too small. she has taken alot and never given back. she has been married just over a year and her nd her husband have had issues nd ahe has moved her kids from his house to her grandma's with them sleeping on the floor and back to her husband's even tho they werent together. we have proof that she was out with another guy memorial day weekend when she was supposed to come pick up daughter and she even introduced daughter to this guy. she doesnt use the child support for her daughter at all cuz she is never around. she goes and gets her hair done her nails done and goes out and drinks and parties with friends and other guys. she has multiple children from all different guys. im not the mother of this child but i feel like im losing my kid and she could care less she just wants money. i hope it gets better. thank u for the support
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