Dear gentry

Dear first love,

You were amazing. First we were friends. Then I fell in love with you. Then you crushed on me. We became close.to close. I was reliant on you for my mental stability which wasn't healthy for me. But even so I found you perfect. Eventually my mother read my texts to you and decided that our relationship was toxic. And she was partially right. What she thought though is that it was your fault. And it wasn't. It was completely mine. I had to end our friendship and what could have been something more. I would sometimes snap at you, but i was heartbroken for three months. I am starting to get over it. But when I still saw you every day, you would often do something soft and kind, like the day I first ended it and I was crying in math. You hugged me, held me. If you saw it, you would often grab my band file for me. When I snapped at you ou would wait a moment because you knew I was going to apologize and then was there for comfort. When our band went to Disney, I spent some time with you in a group of four. And I found out how much I loved you, missed you. So I asked for you back. And you said no, have a nice life. Do you remember the day before I said goodbye that you said goodnight love, just like that. Differently than ever before.the last day of school came around and i hugged your sister who I had made friends with, not even remotely as close as you and I but still friends in the lightest sense of the word. You were watching her, watching us and when I hugged her for the first time and you almost started crying, you looked away and I could see your sadness. I feel terrible about hurting you. I am eternally sorry.

Love, Hannah (little one)

Sorry this is so long. I really had to get that out. Anyone's thoughts would be appreciated. Sort it switches around so much.