PLEASE HELP I NEED ADVICE

Abby

I apologize for how long this is but I really need help

So I have this friend let’s call him KD he is this really really weird and funny and dirty minded kid who loves video games and anime and yes hentai (anime porn) he is the only person I have ever told my biggest secret and I trust him so much he is one year younger than me exactly but in the same grade he is really weird when he’s around his friends when we r at school but when it’s just us he’s super different

I’m soo comfortable with him and love spending time with him we usually talk about random life stuff or share secrets he has told me some pretty deep stuff and so have I but one day he started asking me about relationships which was really weird but he was explaining how he just wants a girl to laugh and cuddle with and have fun and love and he started getting really affectionate towards me which wasn’t beyond normal but still weird even for him I’ve never thought of him as anything more than a friend but how he explained how he would treat a girlfriend I started having thoughts about him

then I had a dream about him and so I asked my bff who is also good friends with him to ask him if he likes me(worth a shot right?) so she did when we were all hanging out and when I wasn’t around and he said yes he said he has had a crush on me for a long time and was too scared to say it so my bff thought she would tell him I liked him back when I came back he looked at me and asked why just simply a why and I was like why what and then he elaborated by asking why I liked him and I told him I have no clue and that there is just something about him that makes me feel safe

he asked me out and obviously I said yes we went on a date later that night and we had a awesome time I walked into school the next day feeling so happy and every time I saw him I smiled then close to the end of the day he pulled me aside and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and I said ok like I didn’t want him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with and I didn’t want him to feel pressured so I pretended that it was cool but inside I’m literally dying

he used to like to walk home from school with me and my friends and hang out with me at the playground by our houses(we live in the same neighbourhood) and now he only barely talks to me at school and whenever I ask him to walk home he always says he wants to play video games or he has stuff to do and I really want to believe him but I have the feeling he is avoiding me and I still really like him

I wasn’t expecting to fall so hard and so fast and especially not for him he is the nerdiest weirdest kid in my class and he’s not that attractive but his personality is great which makes him sooo attractive to me and I usually go for the most athletic boys in school and I get nowhere and I am starting to think I’m going for the wrong type maybe I need to switch it up a bit.

We took this field trip a few weeks ago and when we were on the bus he texted me that he hates me and stuff but I think he was joking and then he looked at me in class and flat out told me he doesn’t like me anymore but then his best friend came up to me and told me that he did still like me he was just hiding it

this girl in my class who thinks she is my friend and I have tried to tell her that I don’t like her anymore and she has been very rude to me and my friends and she found out about this situation and now she keeps harassing him and stuff and I feel like it’s pushing him further away and I’ve tried to tell him that it’s not me and that I feel horrible for what she is saying and he says he believes me but I feel like he is just saying that

and now it’s summer and I keep having this recurring dream about him and I have no clue what to do plz help me