This is hard to write I was 19 when I was in an abusive relationship I was physically, emotionally, financially and sexually abuse. I’m now 27 and have been able to mange or overcome for the most part the trauma I’ve built trust and I’m now married my scars are healing. The one thing that I still can’t manage or heal from in the sexual abuse I was raped on a weekly basis by this monster and he felt it was his right to get it when he wants from this period in my life a beautiful baby girl came alone she’s now 7 and she gave me the strength to fight back and get out of that situation we now have nothing to do with him and we live happy with my new husband and step children.

The hard part as I said I have been able to comprehend or move on or deal with the sexual abuses. Now don’t get me wrong my new husband is perfect he knew me before he who shall not be named ruined my early 20 and understand the trouble I have being sexual with him we have been trying for a baby for 2 years now with our success and I feel that it is my fault we are both fertile we have been tested I just HATE sex and can’t bring myself to do it as often as I should when TTC I blame this on the trauma I experienced I don’t know how to control these feeling I know he will never hurt me but it’s is such a vulnerable time with someone I struggled to do it. I don’t know where to turn anymore!