Bringing young children to adult restaurants?

Question

So last night my boyfriend and I went to the nicest restaurant in town. He was in a suit and tie and I wore a floor length dress. There's live music by a pianist and harpist there every night as well. Its very upscale and the food is amazing with impeccable service. This was. huge deal for us to go out as we've only been out of university a year and I'm about to go back for my residnecy and master's degree. So money isn't something we spend lightly ever, but he was adamant about taking me there for my last night in town (I've been in another country for my internship for the last year and we've been long distance for 4 years now, but it'll be over in a month!!). 
Everything was great and we were having a awesome time. We'd just finished our appetizers when a family came in with two kids under 10 and one that couldn't be older than 2. They were dressed up so the restaurant let them in (there is a dress code for this restaurant) as there's a law here that says places can't discriminate by age except for bars and other places that require you to be of legal age. I was a little confused as to why people would want to bring kids here. The food is not something your average kid would want to eat at all, it's all fancy and I'd personally be terrified a child on my care would break something (like the crystal glasses or china plates). Its just not the right atmosphere either and I can't imagine a child would enjoy eating here at all. It was also fairly late (around 8:30pm) especially for little kids But the parents know their kids best so I just went back to my meal without commenting to my boyfriend or anything. 
The family was seated fairly close by and since this place is pretty much silent except for the music and quiet chatter of other people, this family was pretty easy to hear. They were being louder than others, but nothing horrible. It sounded like the kids were having trouble deciding what to eat and didn't like their food. But the parents seemed to be handling that. 
Well when our waiter brought out dessert the music switched to 'Beauty and the Beast' (tale as old as time) which happens to be my favourite song ever. My boyfriend then proceeded to stand up and then got down on one knee and pulled out a ring. Of course I said yes!! The whole restaurant was clapping and I was just over the moon. Well, right as all of this is happening the kid under two started having a tantrum. The parents didn't really do anything and their child just kept getting louder. My now fiance and I just went back to our dessert and tried to ignore it. I then felt this hot mush land in my hair and start sliding down my back. And then another large mush pile landed on the skirt of my dress. The kid had started throwing food and was just loosing it. 
The parents now start trying to quiet the child and the manager asked them to leave. The mother got upset saying that he wasn't allowed to discriminate against them and that they have every right to be here, etc. Of course there was no apology from them to myself or the other two people now coated in food. My finace and I just ended up leaving (a very nice waitress did help me rinse off my dress and the manager gave us our meal for free which they really didn't need to do but they insisted). 
Now I totally understand that kids get upset and don't always behave like little angels. But, I really don't think kids should be at places like this if they cant manage it. I don't blame the kids of course, but I think it was the fault of the parents. There's way better places in town for kids and families. And I certainly don't see anything wrong with people wanting to be able to go out to dinner somewhere nice where there are no kids. I was pretty upset with what happened. The night was wonderful (I mean I got engaged how could it not be!) but I'm now stuck with a huge dry cleaning bill and I actually don't know if the stains will come out of the dress. It is just a dress, but it's a nice dress and it's not something Id ever wear around kids. I'll get over it of course and it was only a short period of my life that was disturbed, it's not a huge deal. But, I still don't think kids should be at these kinds of places. But, when I spoke to some of my friends they were pretty offended by my opinion on kids not going to a fancy restaurant. So I was wondering what other people think

Answer

That’s definitely not a place to bring kids. I don’t know what the parents were thinking by not stepping in sooner. I personally love kids. I work with them, I can’t wait to have my own. But there are some times and places where kids just shouldn’t be present, and if they are, then the parents should be doing their best to keep them in check. If they can afford a nice fancy restaurant, then they should’ve hired a babysitter for the night.

Answer

In this situation, if you know your children can't handle a restaurant then don't bring them. My step children, ages 4,6,7,&8 would NEVER do such a thing, and I would bring them. But, my 1 year old would not act good so I definitely would never ever bring her to such a restaurant. I'm sorry about that experience, those kids were definitely little shits and the parents are bad for doing that

Answer

I am IN SHOCK that the parents did not even bother to apologize to you. that to me us the worst part of all of this. warm nasty food in your hair and on your dress is awful. I'm really glad you didn't let it ruin your night.

I don't see a reason the restaurant can't say, it's after 8p, it's 18 years and over only. but the parents should have known better. this is what babysitters are for! I don't know why some parents have given you an attitude.  I'm about to be a mom and I just feel there are places young kids shouldn't be,  it's not that they don't have a "right" it's just common sense.  I'm sure the parents would have enjoyed it more had they opted for a babysitter.

Answer

Nope, I’m one of those terrible people that thinks that young kids shouldn’t be allowed in a multitude of places. Kudos that you kept your cool, I’ve would’ve probably had an explicit word or two to say to the little shit.

Answer

As a parent I fully accept my child cannot go to every restaurant and I wouldn’t force it, he doesn’t understand inside voice but I would never let him throw food and would be mortified if he threw food on someone. Restaurants as described should not have kids under a certain age or after a certain time.

Answer

im so sorry that happened. i bring my almost 2 yr old to resturaunts but nothing that fancy i feel like that is the type of place you save for when you have a baby sitter, it would feel like a waste to have a kid to look after and they can make a lot of noise even if they are well behaved . i feel like kids need exposure if they are going to learn how to act socially acceptable that being said i would have took my kid for a walk or left long before it got to the point of throwing food, cause i am also teaching my daughter how to be a kind person if she makes a mess we clean it up and i explain to her that it would be unkind to leave that mess for the waitress. some people have entitlement issues.

Answer

I’m a mother 3 (almost 4) and I do not understand why any parent would take a young child to a nice restaurant when there are so many other choices that are more family friendly. My children have always been on their best behavior in all restaurants but I avoid those types of establishments when I have kids under the age of 7
I’m sorry your night was ruined by the way

Answer

that's ridiculous. every parent knows when their kid is headed toward a meltdown they should have handled their child before it got anywhere close to throwing food at people. I have a 1 year old and I'll be damned if it ever gets that far.

Answer

Congratulations on your engagement!
I agree, children should not be brought to restaurants like this one if they can't be quiet or not throw food. I would be furious at the parents, it's no place for children.

Answer

I’ve seen this happen too many times. Fancy restaurants, bars, breweries, vineyards, etc. This scenario is total selfishness on the parents’ end. They aren’t willing to make sacrifices. They want to have their cake and eat it too. Tantrums need soothing, immediate action. You can’t logic with a tantrum. You can ignore it if that’s your preferred behavior management, but that wasn’t the place to do so. And it’s not just an inconvenience to other people. The kids themselves were obviously acting out because they needed to be asleep or were severely uncomfortable. I feel bad for the kiddos too.

Bringing young children to adult restaurants?

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