So, me and my boy like to do stuff with rope, handcuffs, etc. but every time I hint at that kind of thing DURING sex (like "maybe I should be restrained with something else" or "maybe I should be tied up") he just spaces out and doesn't do anything despite mentioning it himself before sex, and knowing where the rope is, how to use it, etc. I really don't want to say it directly because that breaks the roleplay and personally takes me out of the moment, but I really want him to get it??? any suggestions??

Meanwhile, as far as the safe word, we've agreed on one, but sometimes he's really slow to understand what I'm saying to him (at one point I've even had to say it like 4 times before he even notices because he's so into stuff). He's suggested a 2sec "grace period" but I feel like that would be a bad idea because two seconds can be a lot in a dangerous situation. I've been trying to use the safe word in places that aren't as sexual and don't have a lot of risk so he can get used to it, but he's still really slow to recognize that he needs to stop and that kind of scares me. I've also tried talking with him to see if a different word would work better, but every time I bring the subject up, he just starts apologizing and saying "idk idk". I wanna do stuff with him, but only if I feel completely safe and secure, and right now they isn't the case. Any suggestions???