There’s something within me that isn’t wired properly. It’s more than just an off day or a good day. Sometimes I’ll be happy and one minute out of no where I’m sad. Nothing triggers it. I may other think how I am, who I am, how I look etc. It hurts inside and I want to talk to people but I can’t form the words of my pain. It’s indescribable. My moods drop all the time and it effects my friends and I know it does but I can’t help but to feel like this. There’s no trigger. I’ve tried and tried, I’ve looked in the mirror and told myself I’m beautiful 1000x, I’ve picked myself up knowing I’m not okay. I know myself inside and out but I just can’t stop it. I don’t know who I am. I’m just so confused and what I should do? I have too many panic attacks on things that rush round my head. My thoughts too much to take on a heart that’s breaking. I feel numb to affection and hurt to even know knew people. I want to be strong but I can do it when I know I’ll slowly turn to dust if I try.