I feel miserable š Update
Iām constantly exhausted, my mouth tastes terrible and I feel sick constantly, night time cramps are terrifying and I want to cry all the time.
Iām not very far along and this is my first pregnancy. My partner and I have wanted this for a long time but all of a sudden Iām struck by the enormity of everything and Iām not coping very well.
I feel like Iām letting him down all the time and heās having to pick up the slack. Heās so happy and calm and I guess it helps that heās older than me and has been through all this before (he has a daughter who is now 16 but sadly doesnāt get to see her any more because his ex wife is difficult).
I was referred to hospital yesterday after really bad pain because my doctor suspected ectopic pregnancy. They did a scan and baby is in the right place and we even saw a heartbeat. He was so emotional he cried. I did too.
I donāt know. The best thing has happened to us and I canāt bear to be alone with my thoughts. Iām sorry, this is such a confused ramble but Iām so mixed up and confused and I know my hormones are raging but that doesnāt make it any easier. I want to tell my Mum and Dad because I feel so lonely but my partner wants to wait til the 12 week scan as heās pretty traditional. I have no idea how to make it through the next six weeks.
UPDATE
Iāve talked to my partner about all the really positive reasons for talking to my parents and how I need support and how it would be nice to actually celebrate (because we really havenāt yet). He says he canāt tell me why he doesnāt want to tell people, he just doesnāt. And I need to keep doing things instead of resting when Iām tired because Iām āgiving in to itā. Iām so frustrated right now.
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