When others tell you their pregnant...

Question

Hopefully I’m not alone in this. I just don’t know how to deal with friends announcing their pregnancies. Yes, I’m happy for them, I truly am BUT there’s still some type of feeling I get and I can’t help it. How are some ways ya’ll deal with this?

Answer

I’ve learned that it’s okay to be happy for them while also being sad for yourself. Two of my friends became pregnant shortly after I miscarried my son and they were very tactful in the way they told me. You are allowed to be sad, jealous, or any combination of the two. You’re only human. Best of luck to you on your ttc journey!

Answer

I congratulate them I feel happy for them but can't help but be so jealous that they continue to get pregnant and I can't seem to just get pregnant with one. I always end up going home and crying it out

Answer

As far as people who are just announcing their pregnancies on social media, I’ve started hiding them once I see the announcement. It’s not that I’m not happy for them, hiding them just makes it where I don’t have to see it every time I open FB but can look them up and check how they’re doing on days that I feel like I can handle it. I’ve asked all my friends, even those who aren’t TTC, to tell me independently before inviting me to a party and surprising everyone with the news or even instead of sending me an announcement in the mail. I’ve told them that texting me or calling me is perfectly fine with me. I’m the type of person who has trouble controlling my face in situations and it is always a dead give away to how I’m truly feeling, and therefore makes it very hard for me to convincingly smile and be happy no matter how hard I try. I explained that by doing it this way, it allows me (and my husband) to process my feelings of hurt, anguish, jealousy etc. by myself and in my own time, away from the eyes of others who might not understand what I’m going through and why I’m upset. Of course, I don’t want to be left out of these exciting moments for my friends, but if I know what to expect then I can control my emotions when the “surprise” comes and don’t have to deal with the feelings of being a bad friend on top of all the other crap I’m feeling at that time. Maybe try being open and honest with your friends about a comfortable way for you to find out. I know it may sound selfish when put that way, but all of my friends were really understanding and were glad that I told them because they didn’t want to make me feel worse. It’s definitely a struggle everyday! I’ll be praying for you!

Answer

There are 6 ladies in my life who are now pregnant. One of them being my boss (that I adore) who never thought she could naturally conceive. So I was incredibly happy for her, but I was still bummed for myself. For me personally, I can’t hold it against them. It’s just not my time yet 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s almost like I have to separate my journey from theirs in my mind so I don’t lose my mind. Lol

Answer

It’s normal to be jealous. It’s hard to hear.

Answer

I totally get it it's so hard to put on the fake smile. My husband's friend announced that he and his new wife were pregnant on their first try and I ran to the car and bawled my eyes out. I feel ya

When others tell you their pregnant...

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