Death is Paradise

It never gets easier. The depression stays the same even tho the guys change. I don’t understand why I attract abusive guys but I do. The suicidal thoughts never disappear. The feeling of being unwanted doesn’t go away but the guys do. Then your just left stuck with this empty feeling and the voice in your head that tells you it all could be over and how good I will feel after. Death is a paradise I would like to visit.