Drinking problem?

Question

So my SO is in the navy, and a lot of them are pretty heavy drinkers. The two go hand in hand for the most part. Tonight I had to go to the emergency room for some pretty severe stomach pain, and my poor SO couldn’t keep his eyes open waiting with me so I called him a cab since his phone was dead. Well, now it’s 2 hours later, I’m home and he’s not although he left the hospital 1.5hrs before me (we live 20mins from the hospital). 
I KNOW he’s out drinking, cuz he was already pretty drunk when we got to the hospital. 
My question is, have you had to deal with your SOs addiction before? I’m not going give up and leave him or anything, this man is my everything and I have no doubts about how much he loves me. Drinking is obviously a problem for him but I don’t even know how to go about fixing it, or what to expect. 
How do you deal with the trust issues and feeling like you aren’t important enough, etc? 
Any advice or insights would be helpful. xx
UPDATE: Well he came home at 630am, drank two more bottles of wine, and then crawled into bed with me and admitted he thinks he’s got a problem. I told him I’m here to support him no matter what, and now he’s passed out. 
Thank you everyone for your input ❤️ gonna let him recover before we talk about getting him some help.

Answer

Yep. The best thing I did about it was to go to Al-Anon, a support group for friends and family of alcoholics. I’ve learned a bunch of tools that help across all parts of my life. There are meetings across the globe every day of the week.

Hope you’re doing well and no longer in crazy pain!!

Answer

Well you can’t fix it. You can’t even make him acknowledge he has a problem. If anything is to be done about it, it has to be him doing it. Alcoholism is a permanent condition and those that suffer from it have to not drink at all. He needs to be fed up with his own drinking and be willing to put in the work. Perhaps tell him you are concerned and suggest attending an open AA meeting together. The best thing for you would to be to go to al-anon and figure out how to live your own life and not be codependent. This is a long road and not for the faint of heart, but it can be done and you can be happy.

Answer

Loving an addict is one of the hardest things.  Most of the time it gets worse before it gets better. I would sit down and have a come to jesus talk with him....about how you feel about it and what its turning him into. In all honesty YOU cant fix it....he has to be the one to fix it and WANT to fix.

Answer

You can't fix it. In all honesty, he likely can't either. Most addicts never get clean and stay clean. Love just isn't enough. Don't martyr yourself.

Answer

He’s going to want to stop drinking. I would contact his FRO. Or his SACO they should be able to help him. I know if he pops on a piss test he’s done for. (Navy probably has different terms in usmc)

Answer

FYI withdrawal from alcohol can be deadly if he is that determined to be drinking that he goes out drinking while ur in the hospital I would call this a problem however he will not admit this until he is ready there are stages of readiness and he may need a push to get ready to stop drinking. If you enable the behavior and act as if it doesn’t exist it will continue until there is some other motivation to stop. Many alcoholics don’t think drinking is a problem because it’s legal “well I’m just drinking I am not using heroin a real addict” . That’s justification ... AA and al-non are great support groups if one doesn’t feel right try another group they all have a different environment because of the people in them. However in most cases just the support group is not enough. If he is in the navy the military has programs for their vets for drug treatment and they are good programs. He may need to be mandated by his superiors to get motivated to stop or some other means. But ignoring the problem will not make it go awayandu need to be firm and stand ur ground. There’s a ton of literature out there about addiction. Believe me I know I work in the field and see it every day. I also love an addict myself. It’s a struggle every day but it’s not something u can ignore or enable.

Answer

You can’t fix it. He has to recognize there’s a problem and want to fix it.
The navy has dapa and he can self enroll and he won’t get in trouble and he can get help.

Answer

Tell him he needs to stop or you will tell his  superior. He'll get in trouble.

Drinking problem?

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