I’m stuck between two men.

The first man, my high school sweetheart. We’ve been together almost 6 years and have a child together. It’s a very unhealthy relationship but I’m so scared to leave in sake of ruining our family. We live together, & I work part time. I also spend all my paycheck on things for our son and grocery’s and such so I can’t save up.

Our son is very sickly, in and out of the hospital and his father seems to only want to be a dad when it benefits him. I love him, but I don’t feel like I’m in love with him. I’ve discussed with him that I don’t want any babies with him, & that I don’t want to marry him. He only half tries sometimes, & does whatever he wants when I can’t even stop for gas after work, because that extra 10 min with his son kills him. I had to leave work to take my son to the hospital because he was turning blue (he has lung issues) & race him there when his dad is a perfectly fine abled body that could’ve taken him & I could’ve just met him there. Instead he sat at home and watched tv while I sat with him in the er for several hours. But it’s not “always” bad.

The second. (Please try not to judge)

A married man whose marriage was falling apart well before I stepped in the picture. A co worker. Hes working on leaving his wife and finding a place to live. He comes over and helps me with my son at all hours. He makes sure I sit down and eat and he’ll take the baby. He’ll come over and let me nap, we have similar pasts and connect on so many different levels. Basically my definition of what my soul mate would be. This upcoming week my son will be in the hospital for 4 days for tests and surgeries (he’s 9 months old). I will be staying there by myself for all those days missing work when his dad has paid vacation he can use. & this other man will be coming up (1.5 hour drive) every morning for breakfast and lunch and to take care of my son while we get ready in the morning. Than he will go off to work.

Also, this other man makes comments about how he wants to be with me forever, while my kinda boyfriend makes comments about how I’m going to be his future ex wife.

I’ve only ever slept with my man of almost 6 years. I’m 21 years old. & I’m sick of the fighting non stop. I’ve tried telling him how I feel with no changes in behavior what so ever.

With the “other” man, if we have issues we sit down and talk about them. We cry together, laugh together, & just have so much innocent fun.

I need to feel like my feelings are valid and unfortunately my current kinda boyfriend doesn’t make me feel that way.

Also if you have tips on leaving especially since a child is involved that would be awesome. Or any kind of words for that matter.