I'm new here so I dont know how reaching out is done but I just need to vent. I'm the type of person when I get mad it takes me a long time to calm down. Me and my husband have been going through problems the last almost 2 years of our marriage with a pending divorce, we were separated for 10 months of it. During that time, I dated other people and so did he. He reached out to me wanting to save our marriage, and naturally we both had questions about what the other did during our separation. The idea was that we be honest and tell each other the truth about our separation and then start fresh and move on (this was done so nothing new would pop up and we would feel angry all over again). Well I told him everything, him on the other hand lied and told me nothing, acted as if he was alone and broken from losing me and never once touched another woman. I found out about him and another woman and we fell out big time because he LIED about it instead of telling me when he had the chance to. We separated again because he left me after I got so upset and threw flower pots on his car. Here we are trying once again, and everything was going great until I found out about more women, it hurt me so bad and I was do angry and we got into a huge fight today to the point where the police were called because it was violent in both ends. I just want to let it be clear, it's not the fact that he was with other women, it's the fact that he lied and was looking me dead in my face telling me he loved me in the same damn sentence. I feel betrayed, and very hurt. I dont trust him because of it, I felt like a want love him but I hate him. I didn't know how to respond, so know here I am feeling depressed and torn apart. I've consenplated everything from moving out of state to suicide in the last 24 hours. All because of my anger now we are on the road to divorce again, I just want to kick myself in my room and stay there forever. We live in 2 separate houses because of the separations, I was supposed to move back in 2 weeks from now, now that's out the door. I have 4 kids from my first husband who weren't present when this happened but now I'm left struggling to try and find another place at the last minute without much money. I'm so upset! Kind words of advice please.