Please help me (update)

....i got into this really bad fight with my boyfriend and understandably we both said bad things to eachother but next thing I know he’s holding me down and wouldn’t let me get up. I don’t have very strong bruises but they are there. I’m scared and i hate that i feel alone and that i still love him. Please help me, please. This isn’t love. Please.

(That’s just one bruise, the rest are the all the same, little and red just scattered around)

UPDATE

I figured that if anybody would be reading this maybe it’ll help another girl in need. He has done this to me before but I stupidly groveled to his feet and said “i said something stupid, it’s my fault” it’s not my fault. There is no reason he should hold me down unless i was hitting him or trying to hurt him physically (things i never have done)

I left (yet he still thinks he “left” because he’s done with my “shit”) but I don’t care. It hurts to think he thinks it’s my fault but I don’t want to stay in his life an argue about it even more. I’m glad he’s out and I’m working on myself and being happy without anybody else.