SAHM?

Question

so I'm thinking about becoming a sahm and I just want to know the ups and downs & everyone's experiences.

Answer

I’m a SAHM and here are some pros and cons. 
Pros: I get to stay with my child, I know she’s safe rather than being in day care or in the care of another person, I don’t miss any milestones, I have a huge bond with her since she’s with me more than anyone, she’s definitely attached to me which is so heartwarming for me. 
Cons: I get extremely lonely, I’m alone with her and since she’s still a baby I feel alone often, financially it sucks because I have no income so no extra money to buy things that i need for myself or just want, I don’t have a social life at all and no friends, I miss working and having money, sometimes I feel like a failure for not working because I canthelp financially with things I feel like I should be helping with.

Answer

Due to daycare costs here for a newborn (ballpark) being $1500/mo we decided it’d be best for me to stay home. Pros: I get to stay home with our daughter every day. I get to see all her milestones and witness all her firsts. It’s saving us money in the grand scheme of things. I can get a lot more cleaning and laundry done during her naps than I ever did working full time. Not to say laundry is always caught up and our house is spotless; there are definitely lazy days where I just lay in bed with our daughter and binge movies while admiring her little self. About the only con I have to speak of is that I feel guilty my husband is our only income. I feel like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and there’s nothing (financially) I can do to help.

Answer

I chose to be a SAHM when I had my twins, even though at the time I was the main earner in our family. I really wanted to experience absolutely everything with them. Fortunately my husband at the time (we are now divorced, and have both remarried) was able to step up and very supportive of me staying at home.
Plus sides - I got to see all their firsts - something I hadn't seen with my other children as I went back to work.
I could implement a good workable routine both through the day and at night so had them sleeping through by the age of 5 weeks!!
I was able to enjoy them, not just do the work and raise them, but actually enjoy them and my other children too.
I could do the fun things, swimming, parks, zoos, cinema (eventually), play dates, cooking, messy play... some things I really missed out on with my other children. 
I understood them better, knew what they wanted, identified their quirks easier and earlier.
They were all mine!! I didn't have to "share" them with a nanny or childcare provider.
Downs - getting into the mindset of being a SAHM for me was quite difficult at first, I wondered what was going on back at the office whether my accounts were being looked after etc
Very little adult interaction - my friends didn't have children the same age as mine, all my friends children were in schools so they were off doing different things with their day most often. The few mother and toddler groups we did go to I really didn't like as there were obvious cliques and I always felt like an outsider.
What exactly do you do when they're asleep and you've also done all the housework?! Daytime tv is beyond inane! Lol.
I found it harder to go out and leave them - like for date night, or to take one of the older children somewhere - it felt like I was abandoning them and no one else knew how to handle them... of course they did, but my silly head told me they didn't.
My (ex) husband felt very much pushed out because he didn't know them as well as I did so would become frustrated when he couldn't soothe them
I know it looks like there are more downsides, but absolutely from the bottom of my heart I adored every single minute - even the tantrums stage - of being a SAHM. I actually ended up putting my career on hold for 5 years so I wouldn't miss out on that part of their lives. 
I am now remarried and we are back to trying for a baby (we miscarried in June) .. this time around I already suspect that it will be me going to work and my husband being a SAHD.. (and he will be absolutely brilliant at it too!!) as I'm the main earner again and we can't wrangle it round any way where I can stay at home longer than my maternity leave.. part of me is really sad that I won't get to do that this time in all honesty.. but then I also feel grateful that my husband is a truly amazing dad and is more than happy to be stay at home daddy and work late/night shifts to accommodate our family 💜

Answer

I a have been a SAHM since my son (now 16 months) was born.  Like someone else mentioned, the cost of Daycare for a baby in diapers was just not worth the stress of returning to work.  I am blessed that my husband makes enough to support us, which allowed me this opportunity.
 
That being said, there definitely are pros and cons.  I LOVE being able to watch my son grow up.  This is not to say working moms do not get this, but I have more time to experience this little life.  That being said, that means little to no breaks, hahaha.  I am ON all day, every day.  My husband helps, but it is hard to demand too much when HE also needs time to wind down after work.  We have worked out a system, but there are days that I want to lock myself in the bathroom and eat a whole tub of icecream while crying.
 
I also like that I can establish habits/routines and follow through with them.  I have heard from my friend who went back to work 6 weeks after she had her son (he went to an inhome nanny), that establishing a routine was a LOT more difficult because it is really up to the care provider to also follow through.  She also had a LOT of Mommy guilt leaving her son.  My heart broke for her.  But now she has established a great routine, has a great relationship with the nanny, and cherishes those moments she does have with her son.  
 
I do not have the issue of lack of adult interaction, mostly because two of my close friends had babies months apart from me.  And my other close friend has two boys (older, but they LOVE playing with their ‘little brother’).  
 
I think my biggest stress is I feel I do not do enough.  My house is a mess despite being a SAHM, and I struggle to keep up.  I feel I lack a routine and schedule for ME because I am so focused on my son.  I stress that financially I am not helping enough.  That sense that I am spending but not making money is uncomfortable for me.

Answer

Following. 
I’ve been employed since I was 15 and now I’m 35. I’m use to working 2 jobs. A few years ago I got my masters degree and now I’m a nursing instructor. 
My son is due in September and my daughter will be 20 months at that time. 
My family doesn’t “need” my income since my husband makes good money. 
I’m a little afraid that I’d get depressed not working but idk it could be the best thing ever.

Answer

lonely, apart from being surrounded by other working adult... but worth every moment with my babies that I wouldn't have otherwise... there'll be time before I go back into working world that's awhile away ... caring for my kids, doing activities with them as well make time for myself in the midst of household responsabilities, has its balance if you make it priority and take every day as it is without stressing too much on nonsensical crap, it is pretty sweet! I'm satisfied at the end of the day when my husband is home and we can share adult time!

SAHM?

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