Hard Negative


My husband and I have been ttc our first for about a year and a half now and it's been one of the hardest things I've done.

Month after month perfectly timed, negatives. It's left me really bitter; oh you already have a kid? Then you don't understand. Oh, you've only been trying 6 months? Nope, you don't understand either. You're 25? Ha, come see me in a decade. I'm sorry, you've been trying a long time too but your husband is really supportive and understanding why it's so painful? Nope, you don't get it either. See? It's made me judgemental and jealous. I know the type of person I am is my own choice and usually I can keep it in check but today I tested and got another bfn. My closest friend found out she's pregnant after trying her first cycle. I am so happy for her and her husband, I really am, but damn this was the hardest negative to see yet. What an incredible, terrible low.

Anyway, when you don't have people around you in the same boat, I guess you reach out to faceless strangers on the internet; welcome to my pitty party of one.