Going to post this as open as possible as I need to just share with someone and possibly some prayer support. So husband and I have two beautiful little girls (4 and 1). I’ve always wanted one of each gender. My husband loves his two girls to death but has always expressed he really would like a boy. After my first we both discussed having one more and I somehow was under the illusion that naturally since I’ve had a girl I would have a boy next (in fact timing, etc pointed that way too). Both a bit disappointed initially when we found out another little girl was on her way. It has been the most amazing experience adding her to our family that we decided we would have one more. Fast forward to now, we are expecting #3. I decided to get a paid early reveal ultrasound thinking IF it’s a boy I can plan a little surprise for my husband to give him the news. Well turns out it’s another girl. I am feeling very torn right now. Obviously feel so incredibly blessed that God had chosen me to have three little girls and know He has a plan and reasons for every little detail of our lives. However I can’t help but feel so sad at the same time in the thought that I really wanted a little boy to “complete” our family. I yearn to be a mommy to a boy so bad and I know my husband wants a boy so badly too. We will not have any more babes. This will be our last (unless God has other plans for us) but all in all I just didn’t see me having three girls or having more than three kids. This also is compounded by the fact that having two girls has already created so much fear in me in terms of raising a girl/woman in this day and age and with all that involves.

Needless to say I am fully aware and realize some people struggle with infertility and losses and would give anything for just one little babe no matter the gender. I know she will fit right in and will be loved beyond measure in our home but I just can’t help but feel this sadness and wishing it would’ve been a boy.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. Any words of wisdom and support, guidance to move past this. Even if it’s a word to help me “snap” out of what seems like a silly thing.

I am also get sad at the thought that my husband will also be naturally disappointed and hate the thought of us feeling as if this little girl was at some point not wanted....just feeling so blah..