I really wish I could go back in time & fix this! So for MONTHS, I’ve been wanting a friend with benefits! Just someone I could get physical pleasure from but also companionship from! I’m def not ready for a committed relationship, but I didn’t mind the casual sex with the friend & the friendship we had! He was different from any guy I’ve ever known! He’s in his late 20s while I’m in my early 20s so he was VERY good sexually, & also extremely smart & wise when it came to life! To be only 28, he is dang on smart!!

So everything was going great! We would hook up & text everyday & just have good conversation! Thing is, today I ruined all of it. We got in an argument bc I asked him if he was sleeping with anyone else (bc we don’t use protection), I didn’t want to risk getting an STD or anything. He kinda got upset bc I used a stripper as an example for someone he could be sleeping with. He said that just bc a female is a stripper doesn’t mean they have a disease. I didn’t mean to say it like that either bc I don’t stereotype anything like that! It’s true that he told me before that he isn’t having casual sex with anyone else, but me being the over thinker that I am, I started wondering If he’s having one night stands but with me it’s casual sex!

Eventually he just stopped replying to my texts. He’s just reading them & not responding.. so I apologized to him & told him that I’m sorry & I truly apologize. I’m just paranoid about getting an STD! I don't know where it stems from, but I’ve been paranoid for years about catching one at work (surgical tech) & from sex. I told him that if our “sexlationship/friendship” is over, just please give me some confirmation/closure on it bc I don’t wanna be worrying about what’s left of it but he just read it, no reply!

So.. y’all what do I do? I mean there were some red flags about him, & my heart told me to leave him alone (he snuck & pulled the condom off before we went doggystyle but something told me to look back & i saw that he had taken it off. Then he was gonna put it back on after i told him to put another condom on! U don’t RE USE a condom smh), he also has 3 babies by three different women (i don’t want that much baggage lol), he also has a lot of female friends (which I know if i WERE to be with him one day, I wouldn’t really like that) BUT, despite all of that, I really liked what we had & I ruined it all!! I deleted his number & all of our messages so that i won’t keep looking to see if he’s typing or if he read my message. So, how do I get over this?