(I apologize if I posted this to the wrong group.. I don’t know where I’d really post this..)

Last night at 11:55, my grandpa passed away from terminal cancer. The doctors gave him 18 months, but sadly the cancer got worse and 18 months turned into 2. This man has always been so hardworking, even after retirement.

My mom took this photo two weeks ago.. his eyes are open, he’s able to move his arms, still at a decent weight.. and seeing him last night before he left really broke me. He was a skeleton. He couldn’t open his eyes or talk, so while I was standing over his bed I held his hand, and told him I loved him. his hand twitched after I talked to him, so deep down I believe he heard me and that was his way of telling me he loved me too.

I’m so upset and I’m sad and full of anger, I feel like he was taken too soon. And I know I shouldn’t be so bitter right now, but I just am.. None of my close friends have checked up on me, not even one I considered a best friend(#2). Her birthday was yesterday and I wished her a happy birthday, and she hasn’t even checked up on me to see how I’m doing and she knows what’s going on right now.. so that hurts. And it’s sad to say but its times like this when you start to see whose really there for me.. my best friend (my #1) who I basically consider family, has been talking to me since 12 last night up until now, which I’m so thankful for. And my friend who I barley even talk to asked how I was doing.. and I’m thankful for him as well. But I’m just in shock that again, none of my close “friends” are here, even though I’m there for them in a heartbeat. I shouldn’t be so bothered about it but I am. And I guess I just needed to vent about it somewhere..

Anyway... to finish this up I’d like to write something to my grandpa. Thank you guys for taking the time to read this.

Hug and let your parents/grandparents know how much you love them and never take them for granted because you never know what life has in store.

Dear grandpa,

I know you’re in a better place now, but I still wish you were here with me. Even though I wasn’t around as much as I was when I was younger, I still think the world of you.

I miss you. I miss stealing pecans from the neighbors tree and bringing them to you, because I know how much you loved them. I miss your cooking. Your homemade tortillas and sopa were always my favorite. I tried to make sopa a few days ago, but of course it just didn’t taste like yours. I miss driving in the car with you and grandma, and pointing out nice cars and houses, always saying “my car! my house! my something!” We’d always try to one up each other, and you always let me win. I miss the way you smell, and they way you called me nana. I miss your laugh, I miss the sound of your boots against the floor. I miss trying to communicate with you in Spanish because thats all you spoke, and me making a fool out of myself. I’ll miss the way you decorate the house with Christmas lights, and I’ll miss the sound of you fixing something outside. I’ll miss seeing you kiss grandma and me fake being grossed out. I’ll miss everything about you. I promise to make sure Christian grows up to be an amazing young man, because I know how much you loved him, he was basically your son. I promise me, mom and Tony will take care of grandma. I promise that one day, I’ll make you proud. I love you to the moon and back a million times and more. Thank you for being the most loving man I’ve ever met, you know aside from dad. I love you, I love you, I love you. I hope you’re finally getting the rest you deserve. You’re no longer suffering and you’re free from the pain. I hope you’re in paradise. Rest In Peace, and I’ll see you one day. I love you.

I’ll always remember your smile.

https://www.gofundme.com/5s5kaqo

Update:

Thank you all for your kind comments, they all really helped and I appreciate them so much. My grandpas funeral was yesterday, and it was a beautiful service. The family all got together and it was great to see everyone, despite what brought us together.

I also learned that he had 18 grandchildren. Wow! Lol. We all love you so much, and we will never forget you! Rip grandpa.