Do you guys think it’s too much?

Question

I want to live with my SO but I’m nervous because he doesn’t have a drivers license, no car, doesn’t have any money right now. And to me I’m a person who loves planning ahead and making sure when I take a step it’s not going to the death of me and because he doesn’t have a steady flow of himself I’m scared that when I move it’s going to be hectic. And I feel like I’m a gold digger because I have a list like this. Any suggestions?

Answer

I think that expecting him to be in school AND have a job is a little much, especially since college is not a path that everyone wants to take and that’s okay. 
Also, to save that kind of money will take years... I think that if he gets his license, a job and a vehicle then that should show you that he’s really trying to better his life. Be his partner, ya’ll are supposed to be each other’s support.

Answer

You know what you want to feel secure. Nothing wrong with that. I had similar conditions with the first person I moved in with.

Answer

It would only be "gold digging" if you do not meet the same qualifications. If you are not prepared to potentially be the only source of income indefinitely you SHOULD NOT move in with someone who has no income or any upcoming flow of income. I've seen it happen too many times with men AND women. They move in, say "oh he/she is looking for work" but then they just stop and lose all motivation and the working one just ends up being a mom/maid.

Answer

This absolutely does not make you a gold digger. It means you have standards. It’s one thing if he’s going through a rough patch. But if he’s been like this for awhile and this is just him, then that’s not okay. There’s nothing wrong with wanting what’s best for you.

Answer

Your worries are valid

Answer

I won't date anyone without a car,  a job and their own place.  I have all these things,  they should too.

Answer

Your worries are valid, but it’s going to take him an enormous amount of time to come up to those standards. If you stick to this, he would need at least a year- honestly doesn’t sound like someone who has your same ambition tho

Answer

I think it’s good to have standards. But this is a little much. I think having a license, a car, and a stable job is realistic. 
But having all that money isn’t and expecting him to go to college isn’t. College isn’t for everybody. Being someone’s partner is about loving and accepting who they are while helping them become a better person. 
It’s realistic to ask BOTH of you save up 3 months rent and utilities for emergencies. It’s realistic to start on a plan for the future. But asking for a certain amount saved on top of money in his account is Unrealistic. Maybe after a few years of getting himself together. But I work part time, minimum wage, and live with my boyfriend. You’re being harsh and it seems like you are looking for an excuse to delay moving in. It’s something serious that you need to prepare for. But I’m 22 and don’t have 5,000 in my account BECAUSE I’m a college student. My boyfriend actually pays for a lot of bills because I’m so broke. But me going to school is going to better our lives in the future.

Answer

I agree with everything on your list except working an school. I work 47hr a week an try taking classes but it's really hard.

Answer

The first 3 yes. The last three ... I’m a 37 year old teacher who is married and neither I or my hubby have 3-5000 in savings. 😂😂😂 I have $36,000 in debt tho!! Lmao!!!

Do you guys think it’s too much?

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