So depressed

Kathy • 30 - FTM - Vaeda Miribelle born 10/24/18

*Disclaimer - I just want to bitch right now*

I hate my job so much - every day it gets worse and worse. The owner doesn’t know how to tell clients no, the staff is horribly overworked, and the manager has zero backbone. I don’t want to work at all. Period. I want to be a stay at home mom and raise my daughter. I don’t want her raised by her grandmother part time because we have to work to make ends meet. I want to raise her on my terms. Today I felt a twinge of resentment towards my husband because he hasn’t asked for a raise even though he has been there only 8 months and is making his company over $100k EVERY month (seriously since his 2nd month) when they didn’t even project him to do that well until at least 2 years in. He wants to wait until December. Of course we got into it because i can’t keep my mouth shut when I’m mad or sad and I said “you’re damn right I don’t want to work. I want to be at home with our daughter, but of course that’s NEVER going to happen.” So now his feelings are hurt and I feel terrible because I didn’t mean it to be as hurtful as it came out.

Like when is it our turn? When are we going to catch our stride where everything is just “okay”. How do other SAHM’s get to be SAHM’s in 2018? I know I probably sound like a spoiled brat right now, but since being pregnant I’ve just lost all interest in working. I just want to be with my daughter when she comes and the thought of leaving her 10 hours out of the day is torture. 😔