First hormonal breakdown

Cassandra • ❣ Mommy to my very first miracle baby ❣.. 💙 Tristian~March 4, 2019 💙

I just found out Sunday I am pregnant. It took a long time, a battle with weight, and a battle with fertility issues. Finally I have conceived, naturally at that. So, I'm very excited. I believe I am (or at least should be) high risk as I have a seizure disorder. So every little ache, pursue, of pain makes me paranoid.

Last night my bf and I had sex. When we were done I went to the bathroom. First wipe I see some blood. OMG! Second wipe, still a little blood. In full panic mode now.

Third wipe, still very little blood BUT I realized it was very clearly a line, like an imprint. Immediate relief as I realized it was from a small tear. I tell my bf what just happened and he apologized to me. I told him don't apologize, it's not like it's never happened, it's happened plenty of times. But now knowing I'm pregnant my mind went to immediate panic. I told him I was okay.

We laid down to go to bed. I started crying uncontrollably. He immediately turns the light on, gets me tissue, and asks if I'm okay. I told him what just happened just scared me so much, it scared the shit out of me.

He puts his face closer to my belly and says "are you okay?".. That made me smile. Part of me felt silly cuz I was crying so hard. Needless to say I scared my bf and told him this is just the beginning of the joys of pregnancy & hormones haha.

I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life"