In past relationships i have been lied to, cheated on, verbally abused, harassed and so forth (which sadly isnt uncommon nowadays and i know most girls have had at least one relationship like this). I am in a (semi) new relationship of almost 6 months and we started dating about 3 days after i brokeup with my last boyfriend of more than a year. That said i didnt have a lot of time to heal but im very happy with my desicion and dont regret a thing. From the moment i meant him he has been so sweet to me (refreshing compared to the dickbag i was with for a year) and it sounds cheesy but TOTALLY love at first sight. I know he wouldnt do anything to hurt me but for some reason when he does somethings that remind me of what my exboyfriends have done i get really bad anxiety. my chest feels heavy and i feel like i have a golf ball in my throat and i cant focus and have a hard time breathing.

i asked my boyfriend about who his previous partners were partly out of curiousity and partly because when you sleep with someone you are sleeping with all their past partners too. He mentioned a few girls but one stood out to me mostly cause i asked if he liked her in the past and he told me no. i asked why he said no before and he said “well i didnt like her it was just lust” but i feel like he should have mentioned that when i asked about her the first time?! in my opinion not telling the whole truth is lying to me.

because of my past with pathological liars it really freaked me out and when i got home he called me because i was crying so much about it and i couldnt stop which is weird cause i know its not THAT big of a deal. i hardly got any sleep and have felt off all day and have been grinding my teeth and just feeling generally anxious. when we hungout today he could tell something was wrong and it made me more and more anxious idk whats triggering it. i have been talking to him about how i feel but i feel worse and i tried talking to friends and also feel worse and i tried keeping it to myself and also I FEEL WORSE. :(

in conclusion

how can i deal with anxiety im getting in my new relationship from past relationships? usually im never anxious idk why this one thing is freaking me out so much.