10 years ago I was diagnosed with infertility with an underlying cause of PCOS. My world was literally crushed. For 10 years I watched as my close friends and family members got pregnant, gave birth, watches their littles grow, rinse and repeat.

After 5 years my husband left me. I felt like he resented me for not being able to do the one thing I was put on this earth to do.

Reproduce.

I was broken.

Fast forward 5 more years, several failed relationships, and another failed marriage.

I got married in September but after 3 short months our honeymoon was over. I was married to a fire captain who was married to his job.

In January I met Frank. We had both had 2 failed marriages. He has two teenage girls and I had two teenage dogs 🐕. We immediately clicked.

We had fun. Not just new relationship fun. We absolutely love being in each other’s company. I am very close to his youngest daughter.

I had come to terms with the fact that I will never be a mommy. At least not to my own child. Frank was set on not having anymore kids, mainly in fear of having another girl (ha ha)

April and May were crazy stressful months.

I work in EMS, and work crazy hours. Frank’s oldest daughter went coo coo for cocoa puffs crazy. She was bringing random men home and sleeping with them while we were at work. She placed and ad on Craigslist for sex! And even got caught talking to an older man who we eventually found out she had sex with. Her behavior was alarming. I see all kinds of crazy stuff at work. I deal with kids who are hell beans on making their parents lives miserable. If there was a poster child for a narcissistic sociopath, his daughter would be it! It got to the point where he had to kick her out because her actions were putting her little sister in danger. She was terrified to be in the same house.

That started an ugly battle with his ex wife. Who is equally as messed up in the head as her daughter. We’ve been dealing with her crazy multi personality narcissistic mom. Dragging us through court. Making herself look like lunatic. It’s almost laughable. But still stressful.

Not to mention my job is already stressful, I deal with death on a daily basis. I see things that I wish I could unsee. My hours our all over the place. 24 hour shift, 48 hour shift... and very little sleep.

I found out I was pregnant the first part of June. I never had regular periods, but after losing 150lbs over the last year and a half my periods finally started to normalize.

I was a couple weeks late but didn’t think anything of it since I am not always regular.

My boyfriend kept joking that he has super Mexican sperm and I was probably pregnant.

I just laughed it off. I reiterated that it was impossible for me to get pregnant.

A few days later my boobs just started hurting like crazy! I went to Walmart to get some dog food and passed by the pregnancy test and figured I’d humor him and prove that I wasn’t pregnant, that I couldn’t get pregnant!

That backfired.

The test was positive before it even finished processing.

I was in utter shock!! I still am.

I’m finally pregnant. I wasn’t even trying. I gave up. WTF!?

Any who... fast forward to now. We are embracing this pregnancy with open arms. Trying to see the absolute miracle in it. I can honestly say that I now know this baby is exactly why it never worked out with anyone else. It was meant to be.

We had the Panorama blood test done because apparently I’m practically geriatric when it comes to making babies. I’m only 35 🙄

I got the results back this morning. We had the doctors office put the results in a sealed envelope, and my 16 year old niece put together a private intimate gender reveal for us. It was better than I could have imagine.

I was absolutely 100% against a gender reveal party. But this was perfect.

While we were in the park hanging the big black balloons his lady approached up and asked if we were doing a gender reveal. She then asked if she could take our pictures for free and she’d send them to us. I was like... I’m yes please!!! It was such a kind and amazing gesture. She captured an important moment in our lives. I am so thankful she was there.

Moral of my story... sometimes it just happens when it happens. Trust that things will work out how they are supposed to be. Give yourself credit for being a female. Live life and grow. Create memories. Don’t put your life on hold for fear of the unknown.