struggling with body image

this was me in 2015:

i think i weighed about 115 and i am 5’8”

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and this is me now:

weighing in at 130.

i have been told this year that i “look healthy” ...but to me that just means i’ve gained weight and that’s a nice way of phrasing it. i think maybe i was a bit underweight in 2015, but i felt good and strong and flexible and confident.

now i feel heavy and slow and unattractive and unworthy of love or affection.

it’s taking a heavy toll on my mental health, so i’m just asking for some honest feed back and any advice anyone may have.

i am diagnosed with high anxiety and depression. i have battled various eating disorders all my life (im 28). i suspect i have body dysmorphia.

if i look okay, then what are some mental health exercises i can do to work on self acceptance?

if i look as though i should tone and tighten up, how can i build myself a diet and exercise plan that is self loving rather than self punishing?

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