List of times my dad has fucked up horribly:

When I was about 8 my front teeth had just grown in and Alvin and the Chipmunks were a big thing, so my mom said “oh Hannah, you look like one of those Chipettes with your cute front teeth!” And my dad said “yeah babe you could chew a tree down with those things!” and I started crying

Another time, also to do with teeth, I had lost a molar on each side of my mouth, and I did admittedly have an equine look, and my dad said my teeth made me look like a horse and started braying

One day he picked me up when I was like 14, and was like “wow Hannah you sure are solid”

Last week he picked me up again (I’m 17) and quoted a line from a comedy show and said “you’ve put on a lot of land”

If i think of more I’ll post 😂

UPDATE: my dad isn’t trying to be horrible and I love the guy, he’s just not very good with compliments lol