We met at steak n shake a little over 5 years ago. He worked there. I went in with a co- worker for breakfast every morning before work . She kinda forced me into the relationship, he was skinny, shorter than me, and had curly puffy hair.

So we started seeing each other.

Sex was good we did it alllllllll the time. 🍆🍑 I fell in love with him

gave him back massages, foot massages, wrote him love letters and did romantic things for him.

I fell Pregant 4 month into the relationship after having unprotected sex.

Had a daughter. after having my daughter I found out he went to see an ex "fuck buddy". I found out he saw her when I was full term Pregant home alone at night. he said nothing happened. she said nothing happened. I don't know what happened only they do. I went to hang out with an ex boyfriend just to get even and make myself feel less hurt. and nothing happened. We walked family dollar and target.

2 years later we (husband)had a son together.

reason 2 I can't stand him is I wake up sometimes to him touching me in my sleep. his penis in my butt crack and sh"+

he's been sleeping on the couch for about 3 years now because of it. I don't trust him. I saw sleep creep porn site in his history and Google search history how to touch someone in there sleep. i feel like I've been raped and used.

he yells at me all the time for nothing. throws stuff. broke all the doors in the house. he's verbal abusive...

I've been looking into ways to get out of this marriage. I have sex with him like 2 times a month to make him happy. I cringe. I became Pregant and am due in March. 😫 my iud fell out and I did not know.

do here I am staying in a marriage that makes me want to kill myself and jump out of cars. I have no where to go. my mom and dad are dead, my sister left her kids and is living with a boyfriend. my brother lives in a studio apartment. I don't want to live off a man. I want to do it on my own. but I don't have a job... nooney... owe over 3,000 on credit cards. so I stay in a relationship so my children have a place to live. they are 4 and 2 and 1 on the way.

he won't help do anything around the house but the trash. he doesn't help with the children unless I beg. and I'm done begging. He smokes weed, but puts it above bills and having dinner with the family. it's messed up.heoesn't like me to wear leggings out, or shorts he thinks I'm a ho. he compared me to an Asian prostitute for wearing a dress

what should and can I do?

my soul has been dried and I don't smile anymore. I don't deserve an asshole like this.

what are shelters like?