Should I shave my head? (Please read it all)

I pull my hair out (A disorder called trichotillomania) and this is my damage. I’ve grown this for three months (took months of continuous shaving to get to the same length) and it’s devastating to shave it but I can’t go out to drs appointments for my baby like this. I feel like I look awful and I can’t decide if I should shave it or not. If I do shave it I’m going to shave it with a razor it’s the only way I can keep from pulling and I will continue to shave it for a few months (up to 5+ months sometimes) until it gets to the same length. When you pull your hair out to the extent I do it take a while to grow back as it’s traumatized

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