For those of you who have been in or are in violent relationships, how long into the relationship did you get before he hit/hurt you? Did he ever grab you violently before then? Did he show signs in hindsight that he may eventually be physically violent towards you?

I'm trying not to let my fears get away from me but my BF is former military and "doesn't know his own strength"... he's never hit me but he's pinned me, thrown me down, restrained me, etc. I've been really scared at times and ended up bruised but I don't think he meant to... but as long as I don't get confrontational or accidentally sneak up on him, he isn't physical like that.

We have a 3 month old and he gets scary when he is angry and gets angry for no reason and then finds something to be upset at me about. I'm not pregnant and hormonal anymore so I dont argue with him and just try to be sweet. But he has zero empathy when he gets like that and doesn't have a paternal bone in his body so if the baby cries he doesn't even blink and doesn't even know how to try to comfort him and would rather ignore him than give up his anger. Seems like a red flag but I dont want to make this into something if it's not.

*update* He has been diagnosed with PTSD but I'm not sure he actually wants real treatment. And I dont want to just blame it on that either but I'm sure it plays a part.

*update question* has anyone been with someone who DID recover from violence? PTSD related or not?