My post is going to be a long one but I just want to give everyone an idea of my marriage. My husband and I are young. We got married at 19 and 20 and have been married for 1 year and 8 months now and have been TTC. This happened 6 months ago. 6 months ago he got home from work on a Friday and was going to be off the next day. He would usually stay up late since he didn’t have to be up early the next day. Well this day in specific he said he was going to play Xbox and be online with his boys, so I went to bed to be on my phone. It got really late (midnight) so I told him I was going to sleep and he said ok that he was going to stay up playing and would come to bed later. At around 2 in the morning I woke up and could see that our TV was on but nothing was on it so I sat up a little and could see a small screen light. It was my husbands phone. So I got up quietly and when he heard me get up he got up quickly and closed whatever page he was on and acted like he was getting a drink, and when I got closer I noticed that his dick was hard so I immediately knew he was watching porn. I asked him for his phone and went through his recent apps and sure enough there was a picture of a naked woman and I asked him about it and he said that it was an add. So he went to the restroom and I went to the room with his phone and started going through his history and SURE ENOUGH!!! it wasn’t just an add he had been watching porn while I was asleep! 😓💔 I just felt my heart dropped and I just waited for him to finish and I opened the restroom door and before I could say anything he said “I’m sorry, I’ve always had a porn addiction problem. My mom even caught me once when I was younger”. I felt so bad because I could tell he was ashamed and I didn’t want to embarrass him even more but I was so angry!!!!! We have been TTC and I haven’t been able to get pregnant so discovering that he was watching porn while I slept made me fall into a deep depression, which i think is another reason I haven’t been able to get pregnant. I cried soooo much!!! 💔 I cried so much that at one point I went numb and couldn’t even cry anymore. 💔 the next day I decided to do a little more digging and I found in his history many many more times when he would watch porn. His location is on on his phone so it shows me exactly where he would search it. He watched porn at my parents house.. I was having a conversation with my family while he was sitting in the restroom watching porn. And I checked a few more locations . a few were at home and most of them were at work so I confronted him!!!! He said he would text me that he had to stay a little late and would get on his truck and watch porn before coming home 😓 for the past 6 months I’ve been checking and he has seemed to have kept his word about not doing it again but I feel like I can’t trust him, and I feel like I will never get over the depression that this has caused me. I am constantly comparing myself to the women he would watch I don’t think I can ever trust him again, I haven’t even left him alone or gone to sleep before him since this happened.

What can I do to gain his trust back?

What would you do in this situation?

Please I would like to hear any advice, I feel so alone. 💔💔

Would you be mad if your husband / SO had a porn addiction since a very young age and didn’t tell you before getting married??

Would you expect your MIL to tell you before getting married???

EDIT : He said he had never masturbated to it before but it I don’t believe him. I caught him watching it but not masturbating to it that night.