First date I’ve been on in 4 years that I actually enjoyed and ironically it was the one I expected to be the worst. 😂

A little background. I’ve been single for 4 years after getting out of a bad relationship. Nothing abusive, just an all around crappy situation that left me completely uninterested in dating for 3 years straight.

Well about a year ago I kind of woke up one day and started liking the idea of trying to get back out there and meet someone. I’m 30 and in a good place in my life now. I’ve got an apartment, a cat that totally runs the place, and a good job that I enjoy. But turns out I have no dating game. None. Whatsoever.

First, I’m a huge tomboy. I don’t do cute dresses or heels. I do comfy clothes and girl next door chic. Second I can’t flirt. If I try to force it I laugh at myself which comes across as creepy. So a whole year goes by and I have not one, not two, but 15 grade A disastrous dates.

Complete shit shows. I even had a dude go to the toilet and never come back one time, I had to pay the bill and make the walk of shame.

So at this point I’m thinking it can’t be everyone else, it must be me that’s the problem. Which sucks for the self esteem.

Then it happens. The thing every unmarried 30 year old woman dreads. My mom straight up conspired with my aunt to set me up on a date.

I fought it for weeks. It was with a man that works with my aunt that’s only a few years older than me (she works at a major hospital in the area. She’s the one that goes around getting insurance and billing info from patients in The ER). I figured he was probably in the billing department with her so I’m picturing an accountant type person. Nothing wrong with that, but seriously I don’t want to be the person that needs their mom and aunt to set them up on a date. And I low key was judging him for letting a 50 year old coworker try to set him up(I know I didn’t have a leg to stand on but I’m being honest here).

Then I finally give in. Fuck it. I’m lonely, let’s be real here. And it can’t be worse than the dude from tinder that ditched me with the bill. I’m now the woman that has their mom set them up on dates and he’s the dude that goes along with a coworker setting him up. We have that in common already. So I let it happen.

My mom looked so damn pleased with herself. So did my aunt. I just tried to ignore it and agreed to a day and time and place. Italian food, because it can either be short and sweet or a long sit down affair depending on how things go.

You guys. He picks me up and I almost croaked. He’s attractive. Like goes to the gym regularly, clean cut hair, handsome face, tall enough that I could wear stripper heels(it won’t ever happen but I like to fantasize) and still be shorter than him. So the evil side of my self esteem immediately dug in it’s heels and asked “what is wrong with his personality that this gorgeous man is single and needs to be set up on a date?”

We get to the restaurant. So far he hasn’t sprouted fangs or grown a second head or admitted to stalking anyone or hiding bodies in his back yard. He seems normal and I can’t handle it.

Then we start talking and holy shit he isn’t in billing, he’s a surgeon. A SURGEON. My aunt somehow talked a surgeon in the ER of her hospital to take me on a date. And again my shitty self esteem screeches in my ear that it has to be a pity date or he has some crippling personality flaw. Something cannot be perfect here. Something has to go wrong before I go home.

But no. He’s a fantastic human being. He’s funny, obviously very smart, interesting to talk to. Speaks 3 languages. Says nice things about my aunt as a coworker. I didn’t even know surgeons mingled with lowly billing people? He apparently makes friends with everyone he works worth, no arrogance or holier than thou-ness to be found here. How is he single? HOW?!

And then it happens. The reason he is single.

I asked him for ER stories. Huge mistake while eating in hindsight, but I have a strong stomach. He regaled me with graphic, very detailed stories of everything from horrific car crash injuries to an abscess filled with so much infection that it shot out like water from a firehose when lanced and took 2 hours to “drain”(apparently he was in the direct line of fire and I discovered medical personal sometimes have to take something called an alcohol bath). He did not spare me the details. The wretched, wretched details.

And weirdly enough I absolutely loved every minute of it.

I loved every horrible gross story and the dark humor that went with it. Never thought someone could make a story about a pus geyser funny but he managed it. I was equal parts horrified and laughing my ass off throughout the date.

Other than the ER horror story marathon he was a total gentleman the entire date. Took me home, walked me to the door, and wished me a good night with a kiss on the cheek. Said he really enjoyed our time and would love to do it again if I was interested.

Spoiler alert I was so very interested.

So now we’ve swapped numbers and date #2 is on Thursday because he has a shift on Friday. My mom has never looked so smug and I’m totally ok with it.

**edit**

To answer the question why he’s single. I majorly sugar coated his ER story. He has no filter about his work stories and most women I know would run in horror the second their date started graphically described the time he was hosed down by a vile mixture of pus, crap, and hunks of rotten flesh after lancing an abscess located inside a person’s butthole. This man has seen hell and he likes to tell stories about it.

I found it grotesquely fascinating, but I can see how a lot of other women would find it a major turn off.