potty training ?? behavioral issues ??

im a young mom "23" and potty training is really stressing me out my 3 year old will go he actually stands up when he goes , but will only go if i tell him he want go himself he will just pee his pants. & the tantrums idk what to do its embarrassing sometimes in public is it wrong if i dont wanna bring him with me to stores because i dont wanna deal with the stares i know i was bad as a child people say he could have adhd. just need a little help .